Delay The Red Carpet

You've scored tickets to one of the premier red-carpet events of the year, and you can't wait to watch Chris Rock get slapped! But before you get out the door, your beautiful girlfriend Luna Truelove wants to take advantage of being all dressed up (and how handsome you look) to have a little fun, first. These things never start on time, anyway, so you can't think of anything better than staying home and boning amazing Asian pornstar Luna Truelove! The awards show can wait!